Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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