What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
