Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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