How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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