Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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