I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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