Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
