Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
