I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Two words: blizzard sex
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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