NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
