It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
