Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
