put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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