I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
