btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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