Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I can tuck mytits in my pants
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
