Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Is Oprah even human
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
