I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize