she smelled like a LAN party
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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