i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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