And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
