this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
she told me i tasted like america
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
