If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
now i know why i became what i already was.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
