i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
