But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
