So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
