she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I wish you could order shots online.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize