i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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