I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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