i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
