If i come over, it means nothing
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
