I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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