1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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