Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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