we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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