I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize
