is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
being pregnant is like rehab
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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