I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
