Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
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