He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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