When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Randomize
