I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
