That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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