I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Drunk is not a location!
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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