M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
