He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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