I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Randomize
