What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
