either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
