I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
