Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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