She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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