so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize