I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
