so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
