First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize