i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I supernannyed him into submission
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
