I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
