he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
