I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
