So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
